The Addams Family Tenants
by TheLoneDoctorVII
Summary: What happens when the Addams family decides to take in a few extra tenants around the Manor? Can the macabre family handle a handful of rowdy, angsty college students?... Of course! They're The Addams Family! However, can an odd rag tag strung together group of college students handle the dark, the odd, the macabre humorous go on's of the Addams family household? We'll see.
1. Chapter 1: Running into Mr Addams

The Addams Family Tenants.

Summary: What happens when the Addams family decides to take in a few extra tenants around the Manor? Can the macabre family handle a handful of rowdy, angsty college students?... Of course! They're The Addams Family! However, can an odd, rag-tag, strung together, group of college students handle the dark, the odd, the macabre humorous go on's of the Addams family household? We'll see.

Chapter One: A run in to Mr. Addams.

Gomez Addams was sitting in his library looking out the window over the family cemetery one early August morning. He'd found himself for lack of a better word… Bored.

Gomez Addams did not fancy himself being bored. He was a man of ambition, adventure, of doing new and exciting things. There was never to be a boring moment at the Addams's estate. It was simply unheard of.

His dear beloved Morticia was not back yet from her trip to visit her sister Ophelia, who'd fallen a trifle sick with the black plague. She was to return within the week and oh how this ached the old romantic's heart. He would shower her with his love and embrace upon her return. He would take her in mind, body and spirit- Not necessarily in that order mind you.

Grandmama of course was nowhere to be found. She'd only be found, when she wanted to be.

Gomez's brother Fester was out and about on another one of his exploits; adventuring to a haunted lake up north toward Michigan. Apparently there was to be some sort of mischief going on about driving people from their homes, and he fancied he'd go and have a look.

Oh Gomez certainly wanted to go along, but he couldn't bear the idea of leaving his dear sweet children home alone, even with Lurch and Thing there to keep watch after them. What kind of father would he be? He certainly couldn't bring them along on this likely dangerous and dark journey to the unknown… They had school.

Which in turn left Gomez to himself in his study; counting the days till his cara mia comes home. Counting the hours till his children come running into his arms. Counting the minutes until he lit his next cigar. Which in turn of course he decided to have at now as there was nothing else to do.

As thing ran up the length of Gomez's arm to light the end of of his brown rolled stobie, Gomez peered out the window at some young joggers passing by. This gave Gomez an idea.

"Yes… A stroll would be nice. A run even better! Haha! Wednesday and Pugsley won't be home for another 4 hours, plenty of time to have a gander at the town." He said to thing as he puffed on his cigar. He leapt up from his chair and ran to the shelf with a bronze statue bust of Vlad the Impaler's head ironically enough, and gave a turn to its nose. The hidden door in the wall swung inward and Gomez took a running down the narrow hallway toward an entrance into the Laundry room.

"Yeowza!" he yelped as his hasty dash had taken a very abrupt and painful stop. He'd stepped into a bear trap, left behind no doubt by his brother Fester.

As he pulled it off his ankle, he took a closer look at the steel toothed trap. Nope, this was one of Pugsley's machinations. He couldn't help but smile at the wit of his young boy.

Gomez stepped into the Laundry room, pulling himself out from a trap door hidden behind the hamper basket and began looking around at the different cupboards about, to find something suitable for his run.

"No. No. Nope. Certainly not" he says to himself as he pulls and tosses several shirts, a cape and a dress behind him. He then pulls out a ruffled white shirt and a pair of khaki pantaloons.

"Yes… Yes, this ought to do nicely. Comfy… bit worn, but all the sa-" he began to himself as he felt a tug on the back of his robe. He turned to see Thing perched on the washing machine with a striped black and white tank top, and pair of red running shorts. Gomez looked at the articles and then back to that which was in his hands.

Who knew better? The charming Gomez Addams; Wealthy businessmen and extraordinarily skilled swordsman, loving father and husband to an exceptional family? Or the severed hand servant simply known as Thing?

….

Gomez jogged lightly through Gate as it swung open in front of him, wearing the red shorts and tank top that had been picked out for him. He turned to his left and began picking up the pace, keeping his half smoked cigar clenched firmly between his teeth.

He jogged briskly past the cracked and moss covered brick walls that perimetered his estate and crossed the street into a more suburban neighborhood with clean panelled white and blue houses.

He passed a number of people whose eyes followed the usually reserved (at least reservedly dressed) man jogging past them in attire almost normal. Save for except his shoes. He only owned leather shoes and a pair of boots which he wore now as he jogged farther down the road.

Gomez jogged in place at the corner of the crosswalk as he waited for the light to turn green. An older woman walking her little white poodle briskly treaded up to the same crosswalk light and turned to look at him. The older lady adjusted her wireframed cat-eye glasses, and gasped, frozen realizing that it was Gomez Addams jogging next to her this warm August morning.

The mustached man pulled out his cigar to blow smoke and looked down at the older woman looking incredulously up at him.

"Ah, good morning Mrs. Ween. How good to see you! How are you today?" he asked with a toothy grin, as he stuck the chewed brown roll back between his teeth.

"Mr. Addams always a pleasure!" she smiled back at him. She was familiar with the eccentric man before her, as she had babysat a younger Wednesday Addams and a bouncing baby Pugsley couple years ago. She looked him up and down, then stopped at his feet, then back up to his face. "What on earth are you wearing on your feet?" She asked him. He looked down at the buckled leather pirate boots he wore.

"Haha, I see you've taken notice. Yes. I do not own myself a pair of sneakers." Gomez said as he turned his foot around admiring the worn black leather.

"You really ought to young man. There's a shop not too far down the road from here called Randy's, just off of Elm street." Mrs. Ween pointed "Be sure to grab a pair today if you plan on doing this sort of thing more often Mr. Addams."

Gomez smiled and looked to where she had pointed "You know what? I think I just might. Thank you Mrs. Ween." He said with a puff of his cigar.

"Always a pleasure Mr. Addams, always a pleasure.-Oh dear, Have a good day." she said as the light turned green. She crossed the street with her poodle which kept looking back at Mr. Addams then back to her owner as they returned to their own morning stroll.

"You as well Mrs. Ween!" Gomez called out, after puffing on his cigar. He looked ahead at his path and decided he'd keep an eye out for the shop. His light turned green, and he began jogging again.

~Meanwhile Elsewhere further up the road~

"I can't do this man…" a young man with his face buried into his hands said to the friend beside him currently pulling off very dirty and very worn sneakers.

"Dude, c'mon you've got to. I mean you worked so friggin hard to get here. You can do this." said the friend as he began unlacing a pair of nice new brown boots.

Jeremy Hawthorne was going to be a college Freshman this upcoming term at Union County College and he was stressing out. His friend Martin; a sophomore there had brought over his friend to Westfield for a tour and to ask about boarding there on campus. After some very disappointing news, they headed over to a shop to talk about what to do next while Martin got a new pair of shoes for the semester.

"I know. I know I did, but the schools got no more rooms, and if they did God they are expensive." Jeremy said as he lifted his head to look to Martin who began slipping the boot on.

"You're telling me. I live in one, and my roommate sucks." Martin agreed. He stood and began walking around with only the one. "I'd suggest we get an apartment together, but there's no way. The little job you got lined up over here doesn't pay enough, and neither does mine. There's just not enough time."

Just then the shop door swung open with the rattling chime of a bell. Both Jeremy and Martin turned to look at the man coming in through the doorway. He sported red running shorts, a striped sleeveless shirt, a thin dark mustache and a burning cigar clenched between his pristinely white teeth. He jogged into the shop, then slowed to a standstill in front of the counter then briskly walked over to the aisle next to the two boys.

"Was… Was he wearing cowboy boots?" Jeremy whispered over to Martin who was just sitting back down.

"Pirate boots actually. Specifically from the city of New Orleans." grinned Gomez from between boxes of shoes on the shelf separating the aisles. Martin and Jeremy turned to meet his dark eyes as he peered over a box of gray tennis shoes. He puffed his cigar and moved on. Jeremy actually smiled at this.

"Thanks." He said after him and turned to his friend Martin. Martin just shook his head and sat down to pull off the boot. Jeremy peered over the shoe rack to see where the odd man had gone.

"That Mr. Addams gives me the heebie jeebies." Martin said to himself. Jeremy turned to him and had to ask more.

"You know that guy?" Jeremy asked.

"You're kidding right- oh, right sorry. Here in Westfield, Mr. Addams is one of those people everyone knows. Not just cause his family is filthy rich, but because his whole family is just… Odd. Really odd." Martin said as he boxed the shoes he'd decided he was purchasing.

"Odd how?" Jeremy asked, curiouser and curiouser.

"Well… People say their house is haunted. It looks like a museum, on the edge of the cemetery. Like I'm pretty the thing was condemned twice."

"Woah"

"Yeah. He's married to this really tall gothic chick, scares the hell out of my mom. They have two kids just going into middle school I think, and they're just like their parents. Just… I don't know man... Odd."

As his friend went on about the Addams family, Jeremy smiled to himself in wonder. 'That is seriously something. That's so cool' he thought.

"You'll probably see once you're here a little longer." Martin finished.

"If I can even be here a little longer." the young college student sighed out.

Martin frowned and checked his phone. It was about time to head out. After Martin pulled on his shoes they went up to the counter to pay.

"What am I going to do? The semester starts in a week and I can't drive over here to the college every day. I can't live on Campus. We can't get an apartment. What am I going to do?"

"You could find board with me." came a deep voice from behind the two young men.

~A few minutes earlier~

Gomez jogged farther up the road and kept an eye out for the Randy shoe shop that Mrs. Ween had said to go to. Luckily he didn't have to look far, it was right there on the corner of Elm street. A little white shop sitting under a brown apartment building.

The door chimed as he jogged through and turned from bounding in place, to walking to the men's athletic section of the store. He puffed his cigar as he browsed the boxes before him, looking for a design that would suit his interest.

"Was… was he wearing cowboy boots?" he heard from behind the shelf before him. He pulled out his cigar from his lips and peered through the empty where a box used to be, at two young gentlemen trying on shoes.

"Pirate boots actually. Specifically from the city of New Orleans." He said with a grin. They turned to see him as he puffed his cigar and went back about finding his shoes.

'Curiosity broadens the mind' Gomez thought to himself. He realized he was looking at sizes just a tad too small and had to look lower for his.

"Mr. Addams is one of those people everyone knows." Gomez smiled at this. 'I should think so. The Addamses have been in this town for generations.'

"Not just cause his family is filthy rich," He couldn't help but listen in 'Like a couple billion dollars truly means anything. There are plenty of nameless billionaire families.'

"but because his whole family is just… Odd. Really odd." He rolled his eyes 'As if normal is really normal.' Gomez smiled to himself.

"Odd how?" 'Curiosity broadens the mind' Gomez thought to himself again. He liked this boy.

"Well… People say their house is haunted. It looks like a museum, on the edge of the cemetery. Like I'm pretty the thing was condemned twice." Gomez had to stifle a chuckle 'Five times actually. Five times and oh the old titanium will never fail.'

Gomez had found a pair of running shoes with a chalky black and gray pattern printed in waves along the sides of it. Almost reminiscent of one of his favorite suits. He sat down and pulled off the dusty leather boot, and set it aside while he pulled on the sneaker for a test fit.

"You'll probably see once you're here a little longer." The less inquisitive of the two young men prompted.

"If I can even be here a little longer." the young college student sighed out. This actually grasped Mr. Addams's attention. 'He's not from here?' Gomez put on the other shoe and stood with his boots now in the box. He then headed for the counter.

Coincidentally enough, the two young men had been on their way out as well and were just a tad ahead enough of him for him to overhear again.

"What am I going to do? The semester starts in a week and I can't drive over here to the college every day. I can't live on Campus. We can't get an apartment. What am I going to do?" the more inquisitive boy had asked. Without really any hesitation, Gomez found himself prompted to an idea.

"You could find board with me." he said as the two men turned around to meet his gaze; both a bit slack jawed.

"Hey! Mr. Addams, you can't smoke in here! You'll stink up the shoes!" yelled out the shopkeeper as he walked from the back storage room to the counter. Mr. Addams looked down his nose at the last bit of cigar in his mouth.

"My good man it's almost out on it's own surely-"

"No exceptions. I'm shocked you haven't even set off my smoke detectors yet." the man behind the counter reiterated. Mr. Addams looked at him, then his cigar and nodded. He pulled the lit roll out of his mouth and stuck it into the pocket of his shorts.

Jeremy looked on at this in awe. How? Why? Mr. Addams took a step forward and held out his now empty hand toward the two college students.

"Gomez Addams. My family and I are the apparent talk of the town as you can imagine" he said as the two men shook his hand. Martin felt a nervous embarrassment creep onto his face. "But I couldn't help but overhear your predicament Mr….?"

"Jeremy. Jeremy Hawthorne." Jeremy said. "And this is my friend Martin. Are you serious about boarding at your house?"

Gomez smiled and nodded as he stepped past the two young men as Martin looked incredulously at his friend then back at the man whose family he just named all odd.

He set the box with his boots in it on the counter and told the cashier he was gonna wear the shoes out. As the cashier rang them up, Gomez turned his attention back to the two college students.

"Quite serious. I think you'll find the Addam's household quite spacious. I'm certain having you around would be a charm." Gomez said as the cashier told him $75.40.

"That would be amazing, but I'm afraid I can't afford too much. Not with my job. I'm glad I'm working off mostly scholarships for my schooling itself." Jeremy admitted.

Gomez reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a couple folded bills and rested them under his hand on the counter.

"I see, I see. Well worry not my friend, I'm sure I can make it work for you. How does six hundred-fifty a month sound?" Gomez suggested. Both Jeremy and Martin went wide eyed.

"Six hundred and fifty?" asked Jeremy after finding his words. 'That's less than half the rent for an apartment! A cruddy one at that!' he exclaimed silently. "Mr. Addams I-"

"Six hundred then!" Gomez said with a tilt to his head.

"Si-si-six hundred?" 'OhMyGod!'

"Fine. Five hundred then! I won't go any lower. You're a hard worker, I can tell. I don't want you getting lazy on me, I'll keep you on your toes." Gomez said with a smile and a nod at the astonished young man before him.

"Mr. Addams that would be amazing! But you don't even know who I am!" Jeremy said as he turned to look at his friend who was still gawking in disbelief. Gomez drummed his fingers on the counter as he pondered this. While the man behind the counter looked hungrily at the folded bills beneath the tan hand of Mr. Addams as his patience wore thin.

"That is true my boy that is true. Tell you what, you can come by later this week for dinner and meet the family and the family can meet you. What do you say?"

Jeremy smiled and nodded.

"Excellent, but do take your time to decide if you must, I'll give you my number." Gomez said as he let go of the bills to pull out a pen. 'Why on earth does he have a pen on him while jogging?' Jeremy thought to himself.

The cashier eyed the bills as the register pushed out a receipt which Gomez gladly swiped and began writing the house phone number on the back of it. He handed it to Jeremy and turned on his heel toward the door, box now tucked under his arm.

"Go ahead and you two get yourselves a pair of runners! Stars above knows a morning jog will do you some good!" and with that said, Mr. Addams left the store and returned to his run.

The two men looked at the cashier who was now waving a few hundred-dollar bills, and gestured back to the shoe aisles they had just come from.


	2. Chapter 2: Cara Mia

Chapter two: Cara Mia

Gomez approached the front door to the Addams family manor and was greeted by Lurch the family butler. He jogged up the stairs, breaking in his latest purchase properly, he thought about how this day could get any better. He's found himself a new hobby and a new investment in a brilliant young mind.

Mr. Addams was a tactician certainly. A truly brilliant and macabre mind. He somehow always came out on top. It's been said the only thing he has ever failed at, is failing. He followed his will, his gut, his heart. He had a feeling that the boy had a bright future ahead of him. He got the feeling just by looking at him. The image of a bright mind and a hard worker; one who he felt was his duty to help any way he could.

Yet, as Gomez entered his bedroom door he was greeted with another most captivating sight before him.

"Hello, my love." Morticia Addams greeted her husband as she turned around. She tilted her head at the odd spectacle before her as he strode over and took her in his arms.

"Cara mia!" he breathed into her shoulder as he kissed down her arm and held onto her hands. "When did you get back?" He asked her brushing his thumb over her hand lightly.

Morticia Addams smiled at her husband, and began smoothing out his hair as it's become quite frazzled and… sweaty?

"This morning my dear. Likely only a short time after you'd left." she said placing a hand on Gomez's chest. He held his hand over hers, pressing it to his heartbeat.

"My love, I've picked up a new hobby this morning, and… a new ward." he said with a smile on the last few words. This caught Morticia's attention.

"A new ward? As in… A child?"

"Sort of. Not exactly my beloved."

Morticia smiled at this posh game her husband was playing but she felt herself a step ahead.

"Did you adopt a werewolf?"

"...Possibly? But no I don't think so."

This did catch the tall woman in black off. She began to step around her husband as she thought up her next guess.

"A vampire?"

"No."

"A demon?"

"Nope"

"A ghost? I know how upset you were when you found out this house wasn't haunted but my love, taking in a ghost won't really be the same. I mean for the time we had aunt Minerva around-"

"My dearest. He is not a ghost, nor of any other plane of existence. He's really quite something extraordinary though. A whole lot of potential, and something I'd love to see grow into something really superb." Gomez said as he stepped past his wife toward the master bathroom.

"...Did you get your hands on one of those other witches flying monkeys?"

"I-" Gomez gave pause as he thought about those little mischievous flying primates. He had suggested it before, but was Morticia's suggestion a prompt to it being alright if he did? -Question for later. "No my beloved. Something much more catastrophic."

"No…" Morticia's eyes widened a bit at this. Well that answers that question.

"Oh yes my dear. A college student." Gomez said as Morticia danced back around him blocking him from entering the master bathroom.

"A student? Whatever for?" she asked curiously. She wasn't against such an idea, but why she must know.

"Bubuleh, he is a struggling academic achiever in the making." He said as he held her by the shoulders and switched places between the two. "I couldn't help but… overhear, that he was not from this town, but wishes to be. The boy is attending that college not too far from here. He wants to succeed, and he works hard to do so. I can see he is an eager young man with an open mind, and a hard worker. I offered to board him."

"Board him?" Morticia smiled amused at her husband's interest in this 'academic achiever in the making'. "How much my love? What need of you of money? Are the buzzard farms not doing well?"

"No."

"The Tombstone factory?"

"No?" Gomez looked at his wife quizzically.

"The Uranium mines?"

"No- Well actually those are turning out very well thank you for asking, but again no. I simply want to help the boy, Querida mia." He said caressing her cheek with his hand softly.

She couldn't help but give in and smile at him. She found her hand gently on the back of his head and pulling him in for a kiss.

"My love… you are a man of many fortunes, but you are also very rich where it counts" She said forcing herself to pull away for the moment. "Here." She said resting her hand against his heart.

Gomez smiled and kissed her forehead, pulling her into his embrace.

"As are you cara mia… As are you" he said smiling into her neck. "But… I do need a bath. I have just gotten back from a run."

"Ah… As do I, as I've just gotten back from a very exhausting trip to a very moody sister" Morticia retorted as she switched back places with Gomez and walked over to the bath.

"Well, I can't argue with that." Gomez said resting his hands on his waist, as he turned to head out the door.

"So I guess you'll just have to join me." She said snatching his attention before he walked out. Mr. Addams smiled at this as a jet black dress hit the floor…

~Meanwhile elsewhere~

"Oh my god dude."

"Jeremy."

"Can you believe it!"

"Jeremy!"

"I'm gonna be able to make it-"

"JEREMY!" an exasperated Martin yelled as Jeremy was walking fast down the sidewalk to his friend's grey Acura.

"Yeah?" He asked, turning around shoebox in hand.

"...Are you really considering this?" asked Martin as he pulled out his keys and clicked the unlock button. As Jeremy slid into the passenger seat and Martin got into the drivers, he asked that very question to himself.

"I mean… yeah. Why wouldn't I?" He said adjusting the shoe box on his lap.

"Because it's Mr. Addams. Like, he's not a bad dude, but you don't know him." Martin retorted as he dropped two boxes into the back seat.

"So? It's not like I'd know any roommate that Union would stick me with, IF they could." Jeremy pointed out while they pulled on their seatbelts. Martin looked like he was about to say something, but then actually gave a tilt to his head as if to say-

"Fair point." as he started the car, and turned onto the street to take Jeremy back home. It'd be a little over about an hour and a half drive back to Palmer. "But, still… the Addams family? They're just so odd. The place is creepy. Who knows what they're up to in there?"

Jeremy turned to Martin and smiled.

"Yeah. Who knows? You don't. You've got to give some people the benefit of the doubt. He seems like a nice guy, and it's not like I have many other options." He said. Martin made a face.

"You could ask my mom. We could probably convince her to take you in; use my room-" Martin started.

"Bruh, she won't even take you in while you're attending school."

"Hey! That's my choice. I wanted to dorm on campus."

"But you already live in town-"

"That's besides the point. I don't want to deal with my moms on a day to day basis while attending school, and bringing girls home."

Jeremy had to stifle his laughter.

"Yeah, cause you sure are bringing tons of girls home."

This earned another look from Martin.

"Boy, practice has been busy, but once class starts up again, shoooot. You know I'm gonna have myself a pretty little thing on my arm."

Jeremy smiled at this. He didn't doubt his friend could, but Martin had a habit of getting in his own way at times. He was either always busy with football practice, or always studying.

Since they were kids, Martin's always had a love for marine life. He loved visiting the aquarium back when he lived in Pennsylvania. Jeremy remembers Martin's excitement when his mom came in from the kitchen holding a glass bowl with his first couple of fish to take care of on his 9th birthday.

He always said when he grew up he wanted to work with the aquatic animals. Like at sea world or something. Ideally, Martin was on the right path. He was studying to be a marine biologist, and was using his football scholarship to get himself there.

"Yeah. Well good luck with that." Jeremy teased. "But don't try to stick me with your momma for the year if you don't want to stick with her yourself."

"Hahaha. You right. You right." Martin laughed as he turned onto the freeway. "But listen, if you're really considering this. Be careful man. I don't want to have to go digging you out of a crypt or nothing. Or worse, have to babysit your frankensteined ass around campus." Jeremy couldn't help but laugh at that.

"For sure man. For sure." He ensured his friend.

Jeremy was in a genuinely good mood for most of the ride back. He wasn't completely decided on taking up Mr. Addams's offer, but he was sure leaning toward it. Though he was certain he could figure things out if he had to.

He was willing to drive the hour and a half to go to class, for the time being. At least while he sorted out other living arrangements if he didn't take up Mr. Addams's offer. His dad took this weekend to fix the car while he explored Westfield with Martin, so he should be good to go.

"Oh… Hell no." Martin said with a look of concern on his face. Jeremy looked up from his phone to see what was going on to make Martin upset.

"Oh man." Jeremy could only say when he saw the damaged bridge with a road closed sign stopping them from getting over into town. There was a patrol car parked not too far from it with a standing officer sipping his coffee

As Martin pulled over next to the officer, Jeremy rolled down his window.

"Excuse me. Hi, do you know what happened here?" he asked leaning his head out. The officer turned his attention to Jeremy and stepped over.

"What is it?"

"Do you know what happened to the bridge?"

"Oh, yeah. Last night it was storming and I guess there were a couple people who lost control o' their vehicles. Wrecked the bridges." The officer said removing his damp hat and running his hand through his short orange hair. "Tad o' bad luck"

"Bridges? As in both?" Martin said leaning closer to the window over Jeremy's shoulder.

"Phew. Yeah. Both em'. Two cars swerved into each other here, taking out the guard rails. Thankfully the drivers were only a bit banged up. Can't say the same for their cars though. Oi vey." said the officer, putting his hat back on.

"And the other?" asked Jeremy concerned.

"Well, the other was a truck driver. He said lightning took down the ol' oak just as he was passing over. Drove right through the concrete support and destabilized the foundation. He's alright, but says his boss'll kill him twice over than tha' tree would've." the officer noted.

"Huh… That's awful. Well, is there still another way into town? Any bridge that's safe to get across? How long will these be out?" Martin asked. The officer nodded.

"Oh yeah. Course, bit of a detour but still can get in and out. Just head south down this road" He said pointing west. "And take the second right. You can't miss it. But it'll drop ye' on 25th, near Riverview."

"We need to get closer to Palmer. There one more north?" Martin asked looking down the road, then back toward where they had come from.

"Psshh… Not really. Not unless you're trying to go to Belvidere"

"Ah- man." Martin said putting his hand on his forehead.

"Damn. That far huh…" Jeremy said looking down the road the officer had pointed them initially. "Any idea how long till these will be cleared to use again?"

"Well I'd give it a good month. What with the paperwork needing to go through, surveying the damage on this one and rebuilding the guardrails on it, and the whole reconstruction on the east end of the other."

"Oh man… Well, thank you Officer…" Jeremy said, putting his hand out the window.

"Bridges." Officer Bridges said firmly shaking Jeremy's hand.

"Officer Bridg-" Jeremy had to stop himself from laughing. Officer Bridges smiled at this and laughed himself.

"Hahaha. Yeah, I know. Funny ain't it?" he said with a good smile. Martin turned his attention back to them and gave a good chuckle himself.

"Damn, they really picked the right man for the job huh?" Martin said.

"They sure did. You two have a safe rest of your drive." Officer Bridges said tipping his hat to the two young men.

"We will. Thanks again" Jeremy said, as they pulled back onto Canal road and headed for South Easton.

~About an hour later~

"Oh my god dude." Martin said as they pulled up to the front of Jeremy's house. Jeremy rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, and tried wiping the stress away.

"I'm sorry man. I didn't know the bridges were out."

"Not your fault dude. Just that is stressful. I can't stay long, I gotta start heading off now so I'm back before dark." Martin said as he stretched his arms behind his headrest. He had a good 2 and a half hour drive now back to Westfield. He reached out a fist bump to Jeremy and took it with a smile.

"Alright man. Again, I appreciate it."

"No problem, let's just hope your cars good to go for this next month or so." Martin said as he popped the trunk. "Cause I sure as hell am not gonna grab your goofy ass every morning." He said laughing.

Jeremy smiled and laughed as he clicked the seatbelt, and got out with his box.

"Phshhh… damn. That's gonna be a helluva trip back and forth each day." Jeremy sighed to himself. He stretched his legs as he looked up to the grey sky. 'It better not keep raining' he thought to himself.

Martin rolled down his window and looked back at Jeremy who walked to the trunk and pulled out his overnight bag. Jeremy then walked back up to the drivers side window and held out another fist bump.

"See ya later man. Drive safe."

"Will do. Tell your folks I said hi." Martin said bumping their fists again. He put his car in drive and cruised off.

Jeremy walked up the driveway and looked at the old Nissan Pathfinder. He honestly couldn't tell if it was good to go or not, and he hadn't gotten any text from his dad. He'd remember to ask when he went inside.

He headed to the front door and let himself in and walked around to the kitchen to find his mother stirring a pot of beef stew, while his dad sat at the table reading this month's sports illustrated.

"Hi mom." Jeremy said as he came up and kissed his mother's cheek.

"Hi sweety, how was the trip?" She asked lowering the flame under the pot.

"It was pretty alright. Bit of a snag though- Hey pops." he said as he came over to his dads side of the table to look over his shoulder at what he was reading.

"Hey kiddo" he said reaching behind him and patting his sons arm as he passed by. "What happened? What's the snag?" He asked as Jeremy put his shoe box on the table, and drooped his bag over the back of the chair.

"Well, a couple things. Union doesn't have any dorms open at the moment. Won't for a while it seems." He started while sitting down.

"Oh. That's awful." his mom said as she walked over to the table with her coffee mug and sat beside her husband; taking his hand in hers.

"Well, damn. That's a long trip to make every morning. Are you and Martin gonna do that apartment thing you guys talked about?" asked his father.

"Can't. We don't got enough time, or enough money to do that right away. Plus, did you hear about what happened in Easton?" Jeremy asked. His father looked at his mom and then turned back to him shaking their heads.

"Both main bridges out to Jersey are closed. Apparently there were two wrecks last night during the storm. One on each bridge" He finished.

"Oh that's terrible." His dad said, setting down his newspaper. "How'd you get back here then? You cross the river on foot?" His dad laughed as he jokingly looked his son over atop his reading glasses.

"Actually, Officer Bridges pointed us to a bridge in South Easton. Adds about another 50 minutes back here though, and I'm really not looking forward to adding onto my morning- what's the word? Trek? Route?"

"Commute?" said a little blonde girl standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Commute! Thank you Annie!" exclaimed Jeremy to his sister. She smiled and walked over to hug his shoulder where he sat.

"Well… damn. That's really not great… You sure you don't want to switch over to Lafayette?" his father suggested rubbing his stubbly grey jaw.

"No, no, no. I'm sure."

"Sweety, we know you've been planning to go to Union for years but that's a really long drive to make every day back and forth." his mom started.

"I found someone to board me." he quickly interjected before his parents could try to talk him out of going to Union. This caught his parents surprise.

"To board you? Well, that's a great idea, but how much? Do you know this person?" his dad asked.

"Kind of. He's one of the patrons of Westfield I guess. Mr. Addams."

"Mr. Addams… I think I've heard that name before. Doesn't he own that cement factory up by Martins Creek?" Jeremy's mother asked her husband. His father looked to his wife and sipped from her coffee mug, shrugging his shoulders. She smacked his shoulder and took back her coffee while he gave a small chuckle.

"I think so. I've heard the name too. Guy owns a couple businesses." Jeremy's dad said as he shook out his magazine.

"Wow. So you're gonna be like Robin to Batman?" His 11 year old sister said bouncing on her toes. "Moving in with a rich old guy?" Jeremy smiled at this.

"Totally." He laughed.

"Now wait just a minute there sport, just cause someone's successful doesn't make them the greatest of all people. I mean look at politician's, our president, or your mother's friend Karen." his father started as his mother playfully smacked him on the shoulder. He couldn't help but smile at this. He loved his folks, but he really didn't have too much a choice. There's no way he could manage class, a social life, work, and almost 5 hours thrown away driving each day.

"I know. I know, but I've heard a lot of good things about his family." Jeremy began. "And he's only asking $500 a month."

This made his parents both raise their eyebrows.

"Huh… I guess when you're rich you don't really need to charge too much. That's a great deal sweetheart, but you still don't know these people. We don't know these people." his mother said with a look of concern.

"I know mom. I know… but it's not like I'd know anyone else I'd have to board or room with over there anyway. The Addams family is in the public eye, and I'm sure Martin will have my back if anything goes wrong... Plus, Mr. Addams invited me over to dinner this week to actually meet the family, and for them to meet me." Jeremy said with a small smile.

"I'm not the only one who'd take a risk with this. Him and his family would too." he added. "It's a point that's already been brought up by himself."

His parents looked at one another, as Annie smiled at her older brother. His father nodded taking off his glasses and set them on the table with his magazine.

"Son, you're growing into a fine young man. I think we did a good job raising you right and I'm proud of you that you're so determined to go to Union. This is a big move, and if you're taking the precautions to board with the Addams family, then I support you." His father said, before turning to his wife. She smiled and nodded. "We support you." He finished turning back to Jeremy.

"Thank you guys." He said with a big smile. It meant a lot to him his parents trusted him this much. They were always so supportive. Of his older sister Ashley who'd already grown up and moved out 4 years ago to Philly, of him taking a little time to work after finishing high school and gather scholarships, and of his little sister Annie who was definitely one of the brightest students in her grade. They were doing something right.

"I call dibs on Jeremy's room when he moves out." Annie topped off.

"You wish." Jeremy chuckled as his parents began laughing. Annie smiled up at him and giggled. "I love you guys, and well… I think I gotta make a phone call." He said with a smile as he picked up his bag and box and headed to his room…


	3. Chapter 3: Don't call me late to Dinner

Chapter Three: Don't call me late for Dinner

Mr. Addams was sitting in his study; a cigar resting in one hand, a file in the other. As he took another long drag, the black telephone sitting on the end of his desk started ringing. Mr. Addams grew a smile and set down his folder to pick up the phone.

"This is Addams!" he said.

"Uh. Hi, Mr. Addams?" Jeremy's voice came from the speaker.

"Ah, this is Jeremy calling I assume?" Mr. Addams said with a grin.

"Ah, yes sir. Is this a bad time?"

"Bad timing? Nonsense, perfect time." He said turning in his chair. "What can I do for you lad?"

"I was calling to ask about that dinner with your family, sir. I'm very interested in your offer to board me." Jeremy said.

"I see," He said with a smile over the phone. "Well then, what helped make up your mind so quickly might I ask? I wasn't expecting your call for at least a couple of days." Mr. Addams added while pulling out his pocket watch, simultaneously looking at his wrist watch.

"Well, honestly you're the best chance I've got to make it to college Mr. Addams, and it would be a real experience to get out and see the Addams family lifestyle."

"Curiosity broadens the mind." Mr. Addams said aloud into the phone.

"What?"

"You've got a good head on your shoulders Jeremy. We can easily set dinner for wednesday, get you moved in saturday if all goes well." he replied.

"That would be awesome Mr. Addams. Thank you."

"Of course. So should we say five o' clock then?"

"Five sounds great."

"Excellent. See you then." Mr. Addams said hanging up the phone.

"Beep beep beep beep beep" Jeremy heard. This caught him off guard. 'I thought that was only on older phones… Huh… neat.' he thought to himself. After clicking end, he dropped back onto his bed smiling to himself.

"I'm going to make it. I'm going to make it." he repeated to himself as he was pulled slowly into sleeps embrace.

~Meanwhile~

"Five sounds great."

"Excellent. See you then." Mr. Addams said hanging up the phone. "Haha. Excellent. Excellent." he continued, then tried to get up from his chair to find he'd wrapped the cord around himself.

After unwinding it he'd decided now was a good a time as ever to make his children aware of his plans. He headed out the door to the living room area to find a silver bell that sat on the side table.

He gave it a quick jingle and set it back down, to turn and face a man a good foot taller than him. He wore a crisp white shirt with a puffy black bowtie that stood out like an inkwell spilled into the snow. With a butler's uniform just as deeply dark, and custom made for the grey toned man standing 6 feet and 9 inches tall.

"You rang?" came from the man in a deep resonant voice.

"Lurch, would you go upstairs and find the children? I have something I wish to discuss with them.

"Okay." Lurch replied simply and headed through the archway that barely brushed the top of his hair, and toward the stairs. There was a small rattle and Thing flipped open the lid to a wooden box that sat next to the silver bell, and "Hopped" out, if you could call that hopping.

The disembodied hand leapt from the table to the recliner and then snagged onto the back of Lurch's coattails. Scurrying up his back and perched on his shoulder eager to help.

Not even three minutes later, 12 year old Wednesday Addams came walking down the stairs. Her raven black hair as always, tied into two tight braids dropped over her shoulder, where her favorite pet spider Homer was perched. She dragged behind her something trailing up the staircase and around the bend, as well as a stooped over Lurch; holding her left hand.

Just as she touched the last step, Wednesday Addams produced the end of a rope from behind her back, held in her right. She gives it a sharp tug and her 10 year old brother Pugsley is pulled out from around the corner at the top of the stairs; strapped to a skateboard and wearing a colander as a helmet. He then tips over the top step and starts bumping down the staircase bobbing his little round head up and down on his chubby neck.

Somewhere on the 10th step, the edge of the board hit a snag and Pugsley was sent flying down the staircase facedown headfirst. Mr. Addams stepped forward and grabbed the boy from the air and spun him around before setting him on his feet, where he promptly fell down onto his butt.

"I'd say you could've stuck the landing better." stated Wednesday simply.

"Hehehe. Probably." Pugsley replied and stood back up with some effort as his arms were also bound to his sides that tied the rope to his back. He looked up, then around him on the floor.

"Hey where's my helmet- Oh. Nevermind." He started before looking up again to see the dislodged colander sitting atop Lurch's grey haired head. Where he gave a small smile and stooped down for Wednesday to pull it off and set behind her.

"Wednesday, Pugsley, I needed to let you know we may have a visitor coming over later this week for dinner." Mr. Addams said as he stepped down to one knee.

"Oh that's always fun." Pugsley said, who then got a bright smile. "Is it cousin Itt?" He asked hopefully.

"No, no, but it is someone we will treat like a cousin. Like an Addams." replied Gomez with a smirk.

"Like an Addams? So they aren't? Is it a business partnership?" asked Wednesday as she let Homer crawl onto the top of her hand.

"Kinda." Gomez said as he gave it a thoughtful look, then thought better "No. Not that either. No. He's going to potentially stay with us a while though and I thought it best that you meet him."

"Who is he?" asked Pugsley curious.

"His name is Jeremy Hawthorne. He's a college student. Your mother and I decided we will board him while he goes to school down the road."

"But why?" asked Wednesday.

"I don't have to share my room do I?" asked Pugsley more importantly.

"Are we allowed to experiment on him?" asked Wednesday as she let Homer descend from her hand on a silvery web strand and start swinging like a pendulum.

"Why? Because we're Addamses. We follow our instincts, and go search for adventure. Or let adventure find us." Mr. Addams said to his two children. "And I believe there's quite some mischief to be had here this year. We've got plenty of extra rooms- well if your uncle didn't boobytrap all of them."

"As for experiments, you've got to check with him on Thursday night. That's his decision." he added quickly. Wednesday and Pugsley gave each other mischievous looks and then smiled at their father.

"Alright. Well then I have one more question." stated the raven haired girl as she pulled the spider up between her and her father's faces.

"And what's that Wednesday" he asked.

"What's for dinner?"

~Come thursday afternoon~

The week seemed to fly by pretty fast for Jeremy. He hung out with his friends in Palmer and gave his open invites to come see him in Jersey sometime. He also gave a few more permanent farewells as his friends Beck and Aniston were gonna move to Texas together. He also got some light mocking from his friends that were doing college a bit closer to home at Lafayette.

He was nervous, but was firm with his choices and today he was hopefully going to cement them. His dad replaced the ignition coils in the pathfinder and The Beast was ready to go. So he gave a thumbs up to his dad and Annie as he pulled out the driveway half past 3, and headed for Jersey.

He got to the Addams residence about ten till five and drove forward toward the gate to find no keypad. Nor any call button or anything of the sort. He peeked his head out the window and made sure to look around. He wasn't mistaken

Jeremy was about to step out of his car when suddenly the gate started opening on it's own, but there was no control box or wires or motor or anything connected it seemed as he drove past. Must've been something internal he thought to himself.

He followed some tire tracks in the gravel, he saw leading to the side of the side of the house and felt his car shift oddly as he was a little further in. In fact, it seemed like it was sinking. He looked over to his right and saw he actually was. He was tilting into a pit. A very deep pit.

"Oh, shit!" he cursed to himself and threw his car into reverse and tried to pull himself out before sinking in. When the gravel beneath the wheels wasn't giving way, he thought quickly and gritted his teeth. He threw the car back into drive and pulled all the way to the left and actually managed to power himself over and out of his little predicament.

"Oh my god." he said as he turned the car around and pulled over onto the flattest spot he could find. 'That would've been really embarrassing. Oh yeah I totally just buried my car in your yard. Hope you don't mind.' he thought to himself.

"...Pfft." he tried stifling a laugh. It would be pretty funny he thought. He turned off the car and got out, grabbing his blue blazer off the passenger seat and put it on. He wore a white collared, blue striped shirt with black slacks, and the blazer over it. He didn't want to be too formal, but also not underdressed. This is what he came up with as a bit of a fall between.

He walked to the front of the house and reached over to press the doorbell. He looked up and around almost instinctively as he heard a very loud HRRRRRR HURRRRR. The doorbell sounded like a Foghorn. He heard a click and turned around as the door creaked open to face something almost just as odd. Or maybe someone.

"You rang?" came the deep resonant voice of Lurch the family butler.

"U-Um… I'm here for dinner with the Addams family?" Jeremy managed to get out as he tried not to focus on the giant's partially closed steely grey eye. He cleared his throat and stood a little straighter.

"Hurgh." grunted the butler in reply and stood aside gesturing Jeremy in.

"Th-Thank you." he said quickly and cautiously stepped through the door. He looked at the crystal chandelier above him then around him. He saw nowhere to put shoes so he only had to assume there wasn't a rule against them in the house. Jeremy was always very conscious about that sort of thing when entering a new person's home.

He looked toward the butler as he closed the door and gestured toward the living room. Lurch walked amply down the few short steps and over what looked like a polar bear's pelt that spread across the floor. Jeremy eyed it curiously taking in that… well, it looked very well preserved; with glistening black eyes. Lurch took a left and disappeared through an archway.

Jeremy walked slowly down the short steps and around the throw rug, then looked up to see probably the most fascinating living room he'd ever laid his eyes on. That he Would ever lay his eyes on. It was like a clash between a gothic church, a roadhouse, and a museum all in one.

The walls were a deep salmon color with an almost floral, but royal textile to it. He looked around at all the oddities mounted to the walls. Plaques, and black and white photos. A painting or portrait here and there. A few mounted animals and weapons from all sorts of different civilizations.

He walked slowly as he gandered at a 7 foot tall stuffed brown bear with it's claws and teeth out menacingly. He took note of the grand staircase and doors that led who knows where. He decided, as awkward as it was, to wait in the living room. Hopefully they would come out to greet him, he was awfully nervous and didn't know how to behave in such a situation.

He'd found himself in quite the intense staring contest with a moose's head mounted above the fireplace. He took a brief moment to look at what was actually sitting on the fireplace mantle.

A few medallions it looked like (probably awards), a few odd earth stones such as quartz, topaz, obsidian and what he guessed was a himilayian salt lamp. Then he saw a few small skulls. 'Odd, must've ran out of room on the walls' Jeremy thought to himself and smiled with a small chuckle.

Then he felt something small… and fuzzy brush against his cheek. He first tried to catch it with his peripherals for fear of disturbing it but he couldn't see anything. He raised a few fingers up and brushed where he thought it was and found nothing. Might've been a feather or something. Then again he didn't remember seeing anything avian or anything feathered mounted.

He turned around instinctively to check and make sure the polar bear rug was still where he saw it. It was. It hadn't moved. That was a relief, before he quickly turned around again and looked at the brown bear. Making sure it hadn't moved from it's stoic standing position either.

Jeremy breathed out slowly and rubbed his eye with the palm of his hand. 'I need to calm myself' he thought. He was about to chop it up to nothing, probably just a loose hair or dust or something, but as he pulled his hand away something silvery white stuck to it. Then just above his brow, he met the dark eyes and fuzzy pincers… of a massive tarantula.


	4. Chapter 4: Bear with me

Chapter Four: Bear with me, this will be good.

There's actually quite a lot of interesting facts about tarantulas. They actually have their own sub class in the arachnid family. Most house spiders fall under the class of Parasteatoda tepidariorum, while Tarantula's actually go by theraphosidae alba.

Jeremy whimpered slightly as he watched the tarantula move it's fuzzy legs as it reached further down over his field of vision. He couldn't help but focus on the pincers that hid it's little vacuum like mouth.

Tarantula's don't necessarily make webs as they don't really need to. They usually go out and ambush their prey in the dead of night. However, this does not mean that they can't spin their own silk. They use their spider silk for many things; decorating, strengthening tunnel support of their underground burrows, cocooning.

"Oh MY GOD!" Jeremy yelled as he began to fall back in panic, trying to get the eight armed menace out of his hair. Throwing back his head he was able to dislodge it.

Tarantulas also hardly ever bite humans, only if they feel provoked. Even then it's usually no worse than maybe an ant's bite or a bee sting.

Like most arthropods, Tarantulas are invertebrate and rely on an exoskeleton for muscle support, which is very much needed considering their advanced size and growth. It's not widely known, but a short fall of less than a foot can actually be Fatal to a tarantula; and rupture their thin exo-skeleton particularly around the abdomen. A most sad and painful end for the fuzzy little creature.

Remembering this, Jeremy instinctively turned around to fall forward, with his hands outstretched to catch the now panicked tarantula as it flies toward the ground from it's previous perch six feet above.

Another funny thing about Tarantulas is their legs. Most species tend to keep their feet on the ground, but some are arboreal; meaning that they like to explore walls, cliffsides and trees. These arboreal tarantulas have little retractable claws at the end of each leg, like a cat. This is to help them grip better to whatever they're scaling.

The tarantula managed to snag onto Jeremy's passing sleeve cuff and he enclosed his hands around it; protecting it from the fall. Jeremy landed on his side, pulling his cupped hands close to his chest and then took a moment to catch his breath.

He slowly opened his hands to look down at the fuzzy creature as it turned around in his palm to meet his eyes. It actually met his eyes. He could see it's little orbs sitting on top it's head focus on his. This little tarantula was contemplating what to do next now that it sat in the trembling hands of the titan it went to explore.

"Well that was a surprise" came the monotone voice of a girl not much older than Jeremy's little sister. She wore leather string up boots, ash grey stockings, and a black vintage swing dress with a white collar. He looked up to meet the dark eyes of Wednesday Addams as she stepped over to him from the staircase and stooped down to scoop up the Tarantula.

"Usually Homer doesn't go up to new people by herself." Wednesday said as she stroked the fibers on the abdomen of the tarantula that sat in her hand, which still had yet to look away from Jeremy. He carefully stood back up and looked down at the Tarantula in her hands and then back to her.

"Uhm… yeah. She's very uh… friendly." he managed to get out. "-Uh. Sorry. Homer?"

"Yes. We originally thought she was a male, but once she's laid eggs we had to assume the other." She said as she affectionately stroked Homer's back fibers.

Most tarantulas grow urticating fibers on its abdomen and fling them off if threatened. They're supposed to be very irritant to human skin, and especially dangerous to the eyes. It's a defense mechanism used to ward off many of the tarantula's natural predators. Although old world tarantulas hadn't developed this trait, as they usually had a very poisonous bite.

Jeremy was going to say something, but then realized that he actually didn't know what kind of tarantula this was. He'd not quite seen anything like it from the bit of research he'd done before. He couldn't even make an educated guess. It had attributes from a couple of different species. Obviously this girl was the spider's owner, so she must be aware of her own accord what the dangers are; if any.

"Yeah. Haha. That makes sense, and I'd assume when she ate her mate that probably guaranteed that assumption." he said with a small flinching smile. This got Wednesday's attention.

"You know about Tarantulas?" She asked.

Jeremy gave a small nod. "Y-yeah. I have some general knowledge. I like to read- a lot." he said. This was an understatement. Jeremy was always academically and literarily inclined throughout grade school. He had an abundance of odd knowledge pulled from any book he'd gotten lucky enough to get his hands on.

That's why it was such a surprise to Jeremy's parents when he said he wanted to take some time off after he finished high school to work and build up his scholarships before he got right back to the books.

"Interesting." Wednesday said as she walked out of the room. Jeremy stood there in the living room unsure of what he was supposed to do. After a good 30 seconds, that felt like an eternity, he decided to follow through the doorway she'd passed through and into what looked like an elongated hallway with many different doors… That he didn't see her go through.

"...Welp." Jeremy said "I tried." he said before turning back around to head back to the living room only to come face to face with a wall.

"What?!" He exclaimed. He pressed his hands against the wall and pushed against it. "No no no no. No way." He added as he turned around looked for how he'd gotten in here. 'How did this happen? There was a door here!' he exclaimed mentally. 'I literally just walked through it! I didn't turn a corner or anything!'

Jeremy slapped the wall with both his hands to make sure it was actually there. Then pressed his hands over his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"Okay. Okay. I'm just panicked still. Homer just freaked me out. I'm just… panicked." he assured himself. "Just… panicked." He took another deep breath in… then out. In… then out… He needed to center himself.

"When I open my eyes. The door will be there, just like it was, and I will wait for them to come get me." he told himself. "1… 2… 3…" he dropped his hands and turned around.

"...huh." the wall was still there. Defeated, Jeremy turned back around and faced the hallway before him. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and stepped forward.

"Maybe I did drive into that ditch. This is hell. It's got to be hell." He began debating with himself. "But… then again that living room was pretty sweet. Maybe it's heaven- No. Cause that friggin spider! It's got to be hell! But wait then wouldn't it be bigger? Wouldn't it have started attacking- Oh man." He continued as he looked around at the closed doors around him.

There are 7 doors here, one has to be the kitchen or the dining room, or something. He stepped over to one door to his left and tried the door handle. It was locked. He tried the next one over. Locked. Tried the one after that. Broom closet.

He decided to try a door on the other wall. He walked back to where he'd began and pushed on the door handle. There was a little resistance, but the handle turned and the door creaked open to reveal a stone stair corridor that went down.

It was lit by torches mounted on the wall. Visible cracks could be seen in the warm yellow glow, that ran from the ceiling down to the stone stone steps that led under the house. It felt cold… and bleak. Jeremy ran his hand over the stone brick wall and felt the cool porous surface.

He heard a faint drip come from further down the stairs and then what sounded like the drop of something metal. Then… a screeching noise he couldn't quite place.

"Yeah. Nope" he said pulling the door closed.

He stepped away from the door and turned back around to find himself pressed against something soft but shaggy. He pressed his hands against it and pushed away wondering if suddenly he'd found himself on the carpet somehow. That was of course until he looked up into the beady brown eyes of an almost 8 foot tall grizzly bear.

"You've got to be kidding me." he whispered to himself as he pushed himself away from the stern chest of the stuffed bear he'd previously seen in the living room. At this point Jeremy wasn't even that shocked. This whole hallway was cursed or something. Or, more likely than not… He was asleep. This was just a very unsettling dream. Maybe he didn't die, but he surely must've been knocked out in that ditch he'd got caught in.

"I. Am. So. Over. This!" he said as he shoved hard at the bear in front of him.

"Grrarggghh"

"..."

A cold sweat quickly formed all down Jeremy's backside. He didn't dare breathe. There was no mistake. He heard it. He definitely heard it.

He slowly peaked his eyes up past his blonde hair and stared into the gaping jaws of the bear as they opened and closed. He felt the chest he was pressed against give a small, but definite rise.

"...Oh...noo…"

"GRRrrrRARRRGGHHHHH" roared the mighty grizzly as it lurched and raised its arms over Jeremy.

"No!" he yelled as he threw himself under where its arms swung and hit the floor. He quickly got back up to his feet and turned around to see the bear turn and face toward him again. Jeremy ran to the other end of the hallway and tried the door handle of the last door.

"Come on!" he yelled shaking the handle that wouldn't budge. He heard another growl from the oncoming danger behind him. He turned just as the bear charged toward him; ready to create a man sandwich. A manwich.

Instinctively Jeremy squeezed to the right side of the hallway and threw himself past the bear and let it hit the door on it's own. He pushed himself up from where he landed and made a run for the other end of the hallway; trying to get as much distance between him and the bear.

He looked around for any exit he may have missed. There were only two doors he knew were open. The broom closet, and the creepy stairwell and neither seemed like good options. He hides in the broom closet, he's a sitting duck. He runs down the stairwell, he's going to be even more lost, and might actually run into an even worse foe.

'Then again, what could be worse than being trapped in a closed off hallway with a friggin grizzly bear that you pissed off?' he thought to himself. '...I actually don't want to know' he thought better.

He ran over to the broom closet and yanked it open and started rummaging around through it as the bear seemed to slowly close the gap between them. Taking its sweet time, stalking it's newfound prey.

'"Come into contact with a bear. Don't give it a scare." Too late for that.' he thought as he began throwing brooms and dustbins behind him 'it's agitated. It's a grizzly. I am so screwed. I must attack.'

"Oh man. Oh man." Jeremy said to aloud finally as he felt his final moments might as well be heard by someone. Anyone. He found a heavy wooden shovel and gripped it tightly just as the bear slammed hard into the door he held open between them. He fell back hard but kept a tight grip onto his only salvation. He quickly scooted to the back wall where he started this crazy situation and pushed himself up. This was it.

"Hrrrrr….Gahhhhhh!" He yelled trying to instill the fear that he felt into the grizzly. He held the shovel up in front of him with both hands and charged at the bear and pushed it back hard.

"Grrgh." the bear gave an almost confused sounding growl.

"Ahhhh!" Jeremy yelled as he pushed further on and actually was surprised that the bear gave with, but he wasn't about to let up on his attack.

Jeremy felt them almost glide across the hardwood floor, as he was prepared to slam this bear into the door that denied him exit from this ludacris situation. He continued his panicked battle cry and picked up speed.

"Woah, woah, woah. Hey!" he heard just before he felt the impact of solid Katalox wamara wood. The door didn't even budge… but him and the bear sure did.

…...

"...Mr. Hawthorne?..."

"...Mr. Hawthorne?..."

"...Don't you children think you were too rough on him?..."

"..Rough on him? I think he was too rough on me.."

"Honestly, I'm impressed."

"Shh. Quiet. He's coming to."

"Mr. Hawthorne? You okay there son?" Jeremy heard as he slowly came to.

He was on his back looking at the white ceiling of the Addams family dining room. He turned his head to try and get a look at his surroundings. The walls were an immaculate scarlet wallpaper. The floor was a dark polished wood of some sort that seemed to match the dining room table set that looked big enough to host a feast; as it most likely has. Around him was whom he assumed was the hosting Addams family.

"My my there. Up you go." Mr. Addams said as he pulled Jeremy up onto his feet. 'That was quite the dive you took there."

"Dive?" Jeremy asked before it came back to him. "Oh. Oh man. The ditch! I am so sorry! I should've paid more attention to the gravel- but oh my god, I had this crazy dream that I was being chased by a bear!" he said exasperated but absolutely glad to be alive.

"Uh… Ditch?" asked Mr. Addams.

"The-The ditch that you guys pulled me out of my car from?" Jeremy answered now confused. Mr. Addams looked at his wife who stood behind him. She was tall, lean, and had almost porcelain skin that stood even sharper out against her sleek black dress and raven black hair. Her daughter was practically the spitting image.

"I think he means that ditch you had dug out on the side of the house."

"I did no such thing did I?" He asked and then gave a curious look to who Jeremy assumed were the infamous Addams children.

"Actually, that wasn't us. That was your ditch" answered the stocky boy wearing the striped short sleeve button down. His blonde hair cut short and clean around his round grinning face.

"Oh. Yes. I do recall that." Mr. Addams said then turned his attention back to Jeremy. "Sorry about that. Forgot to fill that one up again." he finished.

"Hah." Jeremy said rubbing his head and then fixing his clothes.

"But, Mr. Hawthorne we didn't pull you out of any ditch, your car is fine and parked on the side of the house where you left it." stated Mrs. Addams as she glided over and put a hand on Jeremy's shoulder and touched his temple; feeling around for any bumps.

"Then… what dive are you talking about?" Jeremy said as he looked around the room once again and as his eyes finally fully focused, he saw it.

"Oh man." he said with a little jump as he glared down at the floored grizzly bear that was apparently not even 2 feet from where he'd just gotten up. It was still just as wild eyed and massive as he remembered when he faced off against it in the hallway, However, he did notice a few things off about it that he didn't notice before.

For one, the bears backside was exposing the inside. Split right down where the spine would be. There seemed to be pulleys, levers and a seat inside of the beast. Looking further down, the feet were still firmly attached to the stand he saw it on back in the living room. Only now taking in the geared wheels attached to the bottom.

Jeremy couldn't help but to actually smile at the ingenious design of such a terrifying thing. He stooped down and turned it toward him, taking a good look inside. It was spacious enough for somebody of a shorter stature to sit comfortably inside and "pilot" around in. Probably perfectly sized for a certain short haired blonde child he'd glanced over.

"Children, I believe you owe Mr. Hawthorne an apology." said Mrs. Addams as she glided across the floor and behind her two children. She nudged them forward gently toward Jeremy and the dark haired girl Jeremy had the pleasure of meeting earlier looked toward her mother.

"I actually had nothing to do with the bear suit." she stated simply.

"Yes I can surmise as much Wednesday, but I'm afraid I know about your spider's role in this." Mrs. Addams said as she reached over and pulled a bit of silvery white silk from the top of Jeremy's head. Wednesday looked away for a moment then toward Jeremy with almost a downward turn of the corner of her lip.

"You and Pugsley have something to say I believe?" she said in that stern motherly voice Jeremy could immediately recognize.

"...We're sorry…" both children said almost harmoniously.

"For scaring you." Pugsley added secondly.

Jeremy looked at Mr. and Mrs. Addams and then back to the mechanized grizzly bear that had just terrorised him not too long ago. He released a breath and moved over to face toward the two kids and rested on his knee to meet them at eye level. He scanned their faces to try and get a read on how to approach this.

"...I take it you made this thing?" Jeremy finally said nodding toward Pugsley. The chubby blonde boy looked up to meet his eyes and nodded.

"Personally… I think that's pretty sick." Jeremy said with a smile creeping up onto his face. "I definitely need you to show me how you put on a show like this, and I'm sure I could show you a few things on how to advance your little bear suit over there." he added. Pugsley's face lit up almost immediately.

"Yeah? You're not mad?" Pugsley asked. "Weren't you scared?"

"Oh. Dude, I was absolutely terrified. That was crazier than the time I let my friend Beck convince me to go cliff diving with her." He assured Pugsley.

"Ohh. That sounds cool! I want to do that." the grinning boy said.

"It was. It really was." Jeremy replied before turning his attention to Wednesday who'd not said or given away anything since her apology "and that spider of yours. That was a pretty smooth move. I didn't even feel her climb up on me. How'd you teach her to do that?" he asked honestly interested.

He could see something flicker in the dark, dark eyes of Wednesday Addams as she gave him her full attention. "Tarantula's are one of the more intelligent arachnid species." she stated.

"Oh most certainly, but that there tarantula… You set me as a target didn't you? No doubt this is a very special spider, but you got her to follow an order. That's impressive." he said giving a small laugh which in turn gave Wednesday a small smile.

"Listen, no harm no foul right?" Jeremy said. "I think that's how it goes. It's okay. I accept your apologies, but don't expect me to just let it slide. If given the opportunity, I'll have to get you back." he finished with a wink. This got Pugsley to laugh.

Jeremy looked up to a grinning Mr. Addams puffing on another one of his thick brown cigars, while his wife glided over and rested her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest with a smile.

"So Jeremy. You must be hungry after such an affair." Gomez asked with an arch of a thick eyebrow and open smile as he puffed out a bit of smoke.

"Famished Mr. Addams." Jeremy answered honestly as he stood back up.

"Well we have quite the ironic treat for you Mr. Hawthorne." Gomez said stepping over toward the table and giving a quick ring to a silver bell that sat on a round wooden coaster.

"From the double doors at the other end of the dining room, came the lurching butler Jeremy had been welcomed in by with a cart stacked with silver hot trays of a delicious smelling meal.

The Addams all scrambled to take their seats and Jeremy took one as well across from Mr. Addams and next to the children that gave him a most interesting welcome into their home.

"So, what's on the menu?" Asked Jeremy following Mr. and Mrs. Addams leads of resting a napkin on their laps.

Lurch brought over the platters and set them in the middle of the table, steam rising softly from under the slips of the lid as they shifted. He could see Pugsley next to him eagerly pick up his fork and knife.

"Ah, that my dear boy is the smell of your apparent victory." Mr. Addams said with a good natured wry smile as Lurch leaned over and pulled the lid off of the center platter. A delicious smell instantly flooded the room and Jeremy's mouth watered in anticipation.

"Jeremy Hawthorne, I give you… Grilled Grizzly Bear Steak." Jeremy heard as his jaw dropped.


	5. Chapter 5: First Night with the Addams

Chapter 5: First night with the Addams.

The rest of dinner went as smooth as could be. Jeremy got to learn all sorts of things about the Addams family lifestyle. He listened intensely at tales that sounded as tall as the west wing tower of the manor, but were sworn to be as real as the delicious steak he couldn't help but admit he loved.

He was astonished by all the bountiful business ventures Mr. Addams had embarked on. He owned plenty of odd businesses he'd started himself, a few he'd inherited, and a surprising hand in a few Jeremy never would've guessed.

"-so I agreed and it simply worked out in my favor. I hear that they're now in the process of marketing their next generation and I expect good things to come of it." Mr. Addams said as he scooped himself another mound of mashed potatoes from the bowl next to the steak and veggies.

"That's amazing. I love their stuff. It sounds like you've almost never made a bad business decision." Jeremy replied as he forked some green beans and carrots.

"Dad's luck is immeasurable" said Pugsley, chewing loudly on his steak.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that." Said Mr. Addams as he cut into his own and turned it over in the drizzled gravy. "I've surely had a few failures."

"No you haven't" countered Mrs. Addams.

"I'm sure I have" her husband replied.

"Mi amor. You're the luckiest man I know." she said turning to him "Making me the luckiest woman." she added with almost a purr to her voice.

"Cara bella… My love... " Mr. Addams started as he held up the hand of his wife. "My fire…" he said as he began kissing her hand, upward. "Only because you are by my side through the ebony night."

"Mon cher…" Morticia said in a hushed tone as she leaned closer to Gomez's face. "You charmer… You… Champion." she said, meeting his lips. Gomez leaned in closer, deepening the kiss.

Jeremy could feel his cheeks burning and he averted his eyes to his potatoes. 'Uh… wow.' he thought to himself.

"-Ahem. Mom?" came the monotone voice of Wednesday, getting no hint of response from either parent.

"Mom." She said quite a bit sterner. This seemed to do it.

Morticia broke away from her husband's lips and turned toward her daughter as Gomez's eyes seemed to drift to the ceiling with a toothy smile.

"Yes?" she said, then remembering they had a guest at the table whose face was quite red by now "Oh. Pardon my and my husband's manners."

Jeremy looked up from his plate at Mrs. Addams and cleared his throat. "Oh, um, no worries." he said with a small smile.

"Ah, Bubuleh." Gomez said still gazing at his beautiful wife in admiration "What in this lifetime would I do without you?" he then turned his attention to Jeremy "My boy, you learn quickly that the only kind of love worth having, is the kind worth showing to the world. Love you can feel not only in your heart, but your soul. In your eyes, in your feet, in your hands all the way to the fingertips."

Jeremy smiled as the wise Spaniard went on. "My cara mia, she means everything to me. If my luck has ever gotten me anything worth having, it's her and my wonderful children. There are plenty of treasures to be had in this world, and love might sit atop all else." Mr. Addams finished.

"Wow…" Jeremy said in light awe, or perhaps Aww. He hadn't decided yet. "...I completely agree." he said leaning back a bit in his chair. "That's really something… I hope I find something like that one day."

"My boy you are young." Mr. Addams said kissing his wife's hand before turning back to his meal "Time waits for no man, but that only means the closer you are to meeting destiny… Haha! Perhaps a girl named Destiny! Wouldn't that be ironic?"

"Only in the sense that fate can be just so crude humored." said Wednesday.

Jeremy couldn't help but smile at both these remarks. The Addams truly were something else, and he was absolutely floored by how much he wanted to be here.

After dinner there was still the matter at hand to be discussed and they did so in the living room, lit only by the fireplace.

"So, how do we feel about our friend Jeremy here?" asked Mr. Addams with a smile as he lit another cigar and puffed it.

"I like him!" said Pugsley enthusiastically.

"Well, I don't think it'd be terrible if he stuck around. Might be interesting." said Wednesday after a slight raise of her dark sharp eyebrows.

Mr. Addams smiled at his two children and then turned toward his beautiful wife.

"And you my beautiful raven?" he asked.

Mrs. Addams gave a thoughtful look and seemed to glide over toward Jeremy. She glided circles around him, almost like she was encircling prey. Inspecting it. Analyzing every fiber of his being.

It was only now he noticed that there was something odd about the hem of Mrs. Addams dress. That made it seem so smooth when she walked- or glided. I mean honestly who knew at this point.

What Jeremy had just come to notice was there was something coming out from under the floor length hem of her dress that hid it's ripples. There was smoke. The woman smokes as she walked/glided.

"I think we'd love to have you here Jeremy." she finally said with a smile as she went back to her husband's side.

"Good. Then it's settled. As of today Mr. Hawthorne. You are a part of the Addams household." Mr. Addams said with a clap of his hands, which Pugsley joined in eagerly. He was excited to have a new playmate.

"Thank you so much. All of you. You won't regret it." Jeremy said putting his hand forward which Mr. Addams grabbed firmly and shook.

"Well done my boy. Well done!" Mr. Addams said, shaking his hand. "There's just one last thing." he added.

"And what's that?" asked Jeremy.

"This. HeeYAH!" Mr. Addams said as he quickly pulled a butcher's cleaver out from behind his back, and swung it down, lobbing his own hand off at the wrist.

"AHHHH!" Screamed Jeremy as he held tightly onto the hand as it still shook just like it did when still attached to Mr. Addams.

"HahahahahaHaHaHA!" Mr. Addams laughed heartily.

Jeremy looked down in shock and horror at where Mr. Addams empty sleeve was, and now where his hand rested clenched in his own.

"Hahahaha!" Mr. Addams continued as he sprouted another hand back out from his sleeve. "That was a good one wasn't it?" he said as he wiggled his fingers and switched the butchers blade to this hand. His actual hand.

"Oh my-Oh my god that was awesome!" Jeremy yelled out laughing. "That's crazy. How'd you do that?" he said shaking around the hand still clutched in his.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Mr. Addams replied as he swung the cleaver down into a wooden pedestal on the table behind him.

"Ask who?" Jeremy asked confused.

That's when the hand released itself from Jeremy's grip and ran up his arm and perched itself upon his shoulder.

"No- No freaking way!" he started.

"Oh yes way!" Mr. Addams said before he gave a quick sharp whistle and the hand leaped from Jeremy's shoulder into Mr. Addams open palm. "Jeremy, I would like to introduce you to our residential disembodied hand Thing T. Thing. We just call him Thing for short."

"Wha- What is he?" Jeremy asked, still in shock from Thing being a living- well thing.

"He is a hand servant, from a line of hand servants that have served the Addamses for generations." Mr. Addams answered with a smile and a puff of his cigar, which he handed off to Thing who flicked the stagger of ash off the end cleanly before "handing" it back.

"Wow… Okay, but what… is he?" Jeremy asked again.

"A hand servant." Mr. Addams stated simply before walking over to Jeremy with Thing still in hand. "Jeremy, I'm going to be frank with you. There are a lot of mysteries in this world. A lot of things people don't understand or choose not to recognize. I'm not sure what you believe in or don't believe in, but it's often a matter not of what you believe in, but a matter of what is."

Jeremy listened intently, and looked down at Thing resting in Mr. Addams hand before meeting Mr. Addams eyes again.

"We as Addamses are not unfamiliar with the world at large. We are more often than not quite on the friendly side with it. See, even my beautiful cara mia. She's a witch." Mr. Addams said with another one of his toothy smiles and his dark eyes searching over his wife. "Grandmama Addams as well."

"So you're a family of monsters?" Jeremy questioned innocently. He wasn't afraid. If anything more fascinated, but he wanted to know. He needed to know.

"Haha. You flatter us. No we are not monsters, we are human. Then again, 'all monsters are human.'... Kind of."

Jeremy raised an eyebrow.

"Sometimes."

Jeremy held his questioning look. Mr. Addams sounded unsure.

"Sometimes they are something else entirely, but that isn't a bad thing. We have an expansive family filled with many different kinds of folk. We all have our own quirks, and I ask that you do not judge anyone by their abnormalities. We are proud of them."

"Mr. Addams… I wouldn't dream of it. I think it's spectacular." Jeremy admitted. This got a warm look from the entirety of the Addams family and thing crawled over from Mr. Addams hand, up Jeremy's arm again and atop his shoulder.

Thing lays on its wrist and throws up a peace sign which gets Jeremy to laugh again.

"Well, now that that's settled. We have to find you a room, my boy. Come. You and I will find one." Mr. Addams said turning on his heel with flourish. He headed down the hall to the lobby and Jeremy followed.

They headed up the stairs and Jeremy was given the layout of what rooms lay ahead.

"This one leads to the tower, This one is Lurches', this one grandmama hides in… a lot." Mr. Addams said as he took a peek inside then quickly pulled his head out with noticeably half of his cigar now missing.

"Moving on, now this is uncle fester's lab. Well one of them. No telling how many rooms that man has made into a lab or some sort of experiment. Shouldn't be impossible to find one, or disarm one." Mr. Addams continued.

"That is really cool. Do I get to meet this Uncle Fester?"

"Oh certainly, certainly. Once he's back from his trip that is."

"Ohh, where'd he go? If you don't mind my browsing."

"Not at all young man. He went off to the Michigan lakes. Apparently there's been some nasty business going on around there. Weird lights. Weird smoke. Weird noises."

"Ohhh… Yeah, that's weird. Is Mr. Fester a paranormal detective or something?"

"No, not at all. He just likes a good show." said Mr. Addams.

"Ohh… Speaking of weird smoke… Uh… Mrs. Addams. I couldn't help but notice she uh-"

"She likes to smoke."

"Oh. Nice to know I guess- I don't like cigare-"

"-No,no. Haha. I mean she likes to smoke. She smokes, herself. Trails behind everywhere and I love her for it. She burns just like the fires of my heart."

"Oh." finished Jeremy a bit surprised. 'That's...wow.' he thought to himself.

They both stopped in front of a panelled brown wooden door just before the turn of the hallway and they both looked inside.

"Yes. This ought to do nicely." Mr. Addams said stepping inside, opening the door fully.

The room had a dark oak floor panelling that had matching paneling about 3 feet up the walls. It was a mostly square room, save for a slant in the corner where a full length mirror stood. The room was actually already furnished with a queen sized bed with a dark oak frame, with a matching dresser to match.

The only out of place thing was the lamp that lit the room. It was a squat little gargoyle holding the light fixture, like a staff. Regardless, Jeremy thought it had charm.

The entirety of the room honestly was quite lovely. Everything was of rich colour, and looked very traditional. Sure there was dust about, but nothing a broom couldn't take care of.

"What do you think Jeremy?" Gomez asked as he swiped a finger across the dust covered dresser. "If you don't like the interior we could always change it up. I could have a contractor over here in 30 minutes."

"No, No Mr. Addams. It's great. It's perfect!" Jeremy said looking around. "It's really nice. I like it."

"Well then. When did you want to move in?"

"Uh, what day works for you? Class starts monday, so-"

"Honestly my man, we can do this tomorrow if you so wanted. Get you settled in this weekend, explore a bit more of the town. Go hang out with your buddy- the tall lad, Martin?"

"Tomorrow. Oh wow, yeah I can do that." Jeremy replied. His cheeks hurt from how much he seemed to be smiling. This whole day has been erratic mess with what felt like such life threatening situations, yet here he was smiling like he was just told he'd won a trip around the world.

This was a big step for Jeremy and he was ready. He was set for college. His car was back in working order. He was set with housing. His friend was ready to back him up when he needed him. Life was on the uprise for Jeremy, nothing could possibly-

Kra-Koom! The rooms window shook and rattled. Jeremy stepped over to it and pulled back the curtain.

Outside the sky was black and grey, behind the hard crashing rain that hit the glass pane.

"Oh… Man." Jeremy said.

"What? What is it? It's only a bit of rain?"

"Yeah, maybe, but the roads are slick and the bridges back into my town are still collapsed. That's cause of the rain last weekend I was here." Said Jeremy as he crossed his arms. "I swear. It's so bogus, it's going to take me forever to get home."

"Hm… or, now this is just a thought. You could spend the night here tonight." Said Mr. Addams as he looked out the window and up into the night. "Oh. Wow that's an angry one. I wonder what Grandmama did to piss them off this time."

Jeremy could feel his ears perk up at both suggestions.

"Really? And what happened last time?"

"Yes really, but you should call your mother or father first."

"Yeah, yeah. Okay I will, but what happened last time?"

"We don't talk about last time."\

Jeremy and Mr. Addams came downstairs and walked back into the living room where the rest of the family is.

"So everyone. There's been a bit of a change of plan. Jeremy will be staying with us tonight. We've got quite the downpour on us." Mr. Addams said to his family as he stepped through the doorway.

"That's fine by me bubeleh." stated as she sipped from a silver goblet embossed with red gems and raised structure that was shaped like a couple of bats.

"Awesome!" Pugsley said excitedly as he ran over to Jeremy's side and held onto his arm. "I can show you my room!"

"Whoopee." stated Wednesday as she looked out the window.

"I'll have Lurch bring fresh sheets up to your bedroom." Gomez said as he reached for a silver bell on the table where he'd left the cleaver. He gave it a quick jingle and suddenly

"You rang?" came the deep resonant voice of the family butler as he appeared behind Jeremy and Mr. Addams. He looked like he'd just taken a dive into a swamp pond. He was drenched and covered in what looked like moss.

"Oh dear, Lurch. I'm terribly sorry I hadn't realized it had started to rain." Mrs. Addams started. "I asked him to move Jeremy's car to the garage."

"My car? But-" Jeremy started as he fished into his pocket and pulled out his keyring "I still have my keys right here how did he?-"

"Our Lurch is more than capable. He's built strong." Mrs. Addams said with a devilish smile of her own and went back to sipping from her goblet.

"Ah. I'm sorry Lurch are you alright?" Mr. Addams asked looking up at the dripping black and gray man.

"Hurr…" was all he responded, before giving a wrinkled thumbs up.

"Good show Lurch, Good show. You can go ahead and dry yourself off, but once you're done will you bring fresh sheets to Jeremy's room?" requested Mr. Addams.

Lurch gave what Jeremy interpreted as a smile, and headed out the doorway.

"Well, the night is still just started for you youngsters, but Beautiful here and I must be off to bed for the evening. You guys have fun and stay out of trouble you hear?" Mr. Addams said as he took the porcelain hand of his beautiful wife and they headed out the doorway, and toward the staircase.

"Wow… your parents are really cool." Jeremy said to Pugsley and Wednesday as he sat down on the couch.

"They're alright." Pugsley said grinning "So, what do you want to do?" he asked Jeremy.

"Uhh… I don't know. Do you guys play any video games?"

"No, not really. Neither of us have really gotten around to it. We have movies though."

"Eh. Kind of boring. How about board games?" Jeremy asked hopefully.

"I have a game we can play." Wednesday said.

"What's that then?" asked Jeremy. His eyes wandered over back to Pugsley who made a bit of a face.

"It's called… 'The Other Side'"


	6. Chapter 6: Up and Addams

Chapter 6: Up and Addams

Jeremy awoke and stretched his arms above his head and yawned. He'd stayed up late the night before with the Addams family children and had only gone to bed around 2 am, despite the pleas of Pugsley to stay up a little longer. It was almost 8, and despite still being a bit tired, Jeremy wanted a start on the day.

He got out of bed and pulled on the shirt he'd worn yesterday, as well as laced up his shoes before heading downstairs. It almost felt like another dimension; waking up in someone else's house and coming down for hopefully some breakfast. He'd have to get used to this.

He turned down the hall toward the kitchen area, but not before catching the scent of breakfast already in the process of being made. He smelled bacon, and the waft of… pancakes? Maybe waffles.

He started following the scent, as he'd actually yet to even see the kitchen. Hopefully the smell would lead him to the right place, and hopefully not some witches hut hidden within the Addams family home, where she lured new visitors into her red brick oven and baked them into pies.

Jeremy rubbed his eyes some more. He couldn't decide if he was still waking up to think such a ridiculous thing or if he was actually being rightfully precautious. I mean, with the events of the night prior he wouldn't be surprised if there was more to the household than he'd only glimpsed last night.

He followed the smell and thankfully it showed him into a eggshell white kitchen, with black and white elongated diamond floor tiling. Not what he'd expected. He expected more red. Or maybe for some odd reason yellow. Don't know why.

There stood Lurch leaning over the stove (Quite literally leaning over it. He had to duck his head under the cabinets that mounted above it.)

Jeremy, being the awkward one that he is, tries to think of what to say, or how to approach the tower of a man. Does he say good morning, does he ask how he is? Does he ask what he's cooking and does he expect to be offered any? Should he make himself a bowl of cereal? Does he order in or go out for breakfast? Should he wait for the Addams?

"Hurmm." Lurch grunted with a smile, pulling Jeremy out of his own head, which he was found more often these days than not. He turned and offered Jeremy a plate, that had 2 sunny side up eggs, some bacon, some sausage, and a piece of buttered toast.

"Wow." said Jeremy astounded, looking down at the plate in his hands then back up towards Lurch. "Thank you." he said smiling at him.

Lurch smiled and turned back toward the counter to grab his own plate. Jeremy sat down at the table as Lurch set down his plate, and went to grab some coffee.

As Jeremy and Lurch sat there enjoying their breakfast, enjoying their coffee the slow churn of a machine's humming grew steadily from outside. It grew louder and more distinct, and soon was joined by laughter.

"Mr. Lurch, what is that?" Jeremy asked finally. Turning around in his chair to try and look out the window. He could see the courtyard outside, but anything further was blocked by the wraparound of more of the house.

"Hrn. Hrmrmm?" grunted Lurch with almost a bit of a shrug as he bit down into his mug. This caught Jeremy by surprise. Not so much Lurch not knowing the sound of machinery, but the fact that he literally bit down into the ceramic mug, and began chewing it loudly as he pulled up a newspaper from his lap.

"Huh… Thank you, again Mr. Lurch." Jeremy said as he stood up with his dishes and headed toward the sink to rinse them off. Not before trying to bite down on his mug though, quickly finding it clink against his teeth. 'That's not happening' he thought to himself as he stole another glance at the butler enjoying his mug and newspaper at the table.

Jeremy slipped out the door into the courtyard and followed it out and around the house. The sky was partly cloudy, but the rain didn't look like it was coming back any time soon. The ground was slightly damp, but not enough to sink his feet into. Jeremy strolled around the perimeter of the house and took note of the beautiful architecture surrounding him.

Eventually he'd found the source of the noise. There was Mr. Addams with a pair of dirty brown goggles on, sitting on a mobilized wood chipper. He was throwing dead bushes and what looked like… giant… Mario plants? Into the churning mouth of the machine.  
"Good morning Mr. Addams!" Jeremy called out over the noise.

Mr. Addams did nothing but maniacally laugh as he tossed in another plant.

"Uh- Good Morning! Mr. Addams!" Jeremy called out again. Jeremy started treading carefully over toward the wood chipper and finally Mr. Addams took notice.

"Ah! Mr. Hawthorne. Good morning to you." Mr. Addams said, turning off the machine and pulling up his goggles. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good Mr. Addams. You? What're you doing?" Jeremy replied, looking over at the shredded shrubbery that sat in the trailer catch behind the mobile wood chipper. What a mouthful that is.

"I slept quite alright, I had to get up early though to get rid of the evidence though." Mr. Addams said looking behind him at the trailer he was filling. "Morticia, hasn't quite noticed yet but I uh… May have forgotten to feed a couple of the more 'active' plants in her garden the week she was gone."

Jeremy walked over to what was left of the dead mario looking plants and looked them over. They were dried up, and seemed to be… mutilated?

"And this is what happens to them when they're not fed?" Jeremy asked.

"Huh?" Mr. Addams said in confusion before quickly adding "Oh! No, these aren't the more active plants. These are the victims."

Jeremy's eyes widened at such a conviction.

"What?" Jeremy asked turning to Mr. Addams "You mean to tell me something else did this to these plants?"

Mr. Addams looked down at the dead plants before him and then at the glass greenhouse obscured by black bars around it behind him with almost a ghostly look in his eyes.

"Yes…" was all he said.

'Okay. Totally creeped out by the greenhouse then.' Jeremy thought to himself.

"...Oh… Well, what kind of plants were these?" Jeremy asked regaining his composure and turning over the plants head with his foot.

"Well, it's one of Morticia's side projects. Hydnora Africana plants are a very… aromatic predator species of fauna." the spaniard answered as he adjusted his leather gloves on his hands. He wore a white T-Shirt and some black coveralls for this outdoor labor.

"Aromatic… like they smell? Do they smell good?" Jeremy asked as he leaned over to sniff the dead plants as Mr. Addams reached a hand out to try and stop him, but not fast enough.

"Phew! Ew! That smells so sour! What the hell?!" Jeremy jumped back holding his nose.

"That's why it's one of her side projects." Mr. Addams said as he pinched his nose, but then pulled away just as quickly cause the smell was also on his gloves.

"As I was saying. The Hydnora Africana plant is a very aromatic predatorial fauna. It smells like shit, and uses that smell to lure it's prey into it's mighty jaws. Dung beetles a lot of the time."

"Excuse me? That doesn't smell like shit, that smells like rotten milk and lemons." Jeremy said still scrunching up his nose and eyes.

"Precisely. Good observation. Morticia thinks the plant looks beautiful, and has been trying to breed out the Aroma. Clearly… not too well." Mr. Addams stated. "She's still working on it, and I'm glad these won't be missed too dearly."

"That's incredible Mr. Addams." Jeremy said honestly "but oh man, how close is she to getting the desired effect?"

Mr. Addams looked pensive for a moment then shrugged.

"No idea. I'm not a plant guy. That's more cousin Fawna's area of expertise." Mr. Addams answered honestly.

"Ah. I see…" Jeremy said, before taking another look at the greenhouse behind them. "Then… what made the predator the prey?"

Mr. Addams leaned over from his seat on the mobile wood chipper and looked at Jeremy "I think that's a question you ought to ask Mrs. Addams. I think she'll gladly show you." Mr. Addams said with a smile before pulling his goggles back over his eyes. "Well, what are you going to do today Mr. Hawthorne?"

Jeremy turned to Mr. Addams and shrugged. "I actually don't know Mr. Addams. I thought maybe I'd go and see Martin. Maybe go bowling or something."

"That's a splendid idea,-" the goggled man said with a grin as he patted his pockets and found not what he was looking for. He patted himself down some more and looked over himself before turning his attention toward the outdoor table by the house. "Damn."

Jeremy looked behind him and then back to Mr. Addams.

"I left my cigars and lighter over there would you get that and light one up for me?" Mr. Addams asked.

Jeremy nodded and walked over to the table and grabbed the two thick cigars, and silver plated lighter from the glass table, before coming back.

Mr. Addams stuck one of the cigars in his mouth before pocketing the other. Jeremy flicked the lighter open and held the flame under the end of Mr. Addams current cigar as he puffed.

"Thank you Jeremy" Mr. Addams said after dragging on his cigar, and pocketing the lighter roughly with the thick hide gloves he wore. However, he pulled out a small fold of a couple of bills and handed them over to Jeremy.

"You have a good day on the town, on me Mr. Hawthorne. I take you'll likely head home at some point today and bring over your things?" Mr. Addams asked.

Jeremy was in kind of awe at the $100 dollar bills, in his hands and looked at Mr. Addams "Uhh, y-yeah. Probably. Mr. Addams I don't-"

"Excellent, Excellent. You go run along. The day is young, and I have to finish this before my beloved Raven crows my name this morning- Your car is in the garage at the front of the house." Mr. Addams said as he stuck the cigar between his teeth with a grin. He turned on the machine again with a maniacal chuckle as he pulled forward to grab the next plant in his path to throw into the chipper.

Jeremy couldn't help but smile at the sight he was leaving and began walking around to the front of the house.

An hour later Jeremy pulled up in front of Martin's house and walked to the door. He rang the doorbell and waited less than a minute before his mother answered the door.

"Jeremy! So nice to see you." Ms. Jones said as she pulled Jeremy into a hug. She was only 5'5 but she still managed to get her arms around Jeremy's upper shoulders and pulled him into a hug.

"It's nice to see you too Ms. Jones" Jeremy said, hugging her back tightly. "Is Martin here?" He asked.

Ms. Jones pulled away smiling and turned her head towards the hall in her house "Martin! Someone's here for you!" She yelled. She could definitely be loud when she wanted to be. She smiled again at Jeremy and stepped over to let him inside.

As he did Martin ambled out his room with grey joggers and a black tank top. "Ma, who's here this early?" Martin started as he pulled his earbuds out, and looked up to see Jeremy standing in the living room next to his mom.

Martin smiled and walked over with his hand out toward his best friend.

"Hey! Didn't I see you just last week, tough guy?" Martin said pulling Jeremy into a bro hug. "Why, didn't you tell me you were coming over?" Martin said pulling away and holding up his phone. "We have these things called phones for a reason."

Jeremy rolled his eyes and smiled "Yeah, yeah. Call me old fashioned. I wasn't even expecting to be here this early." Jeremy admitted.

"What did you do, sleep drive over here in the gas guzzler known as 'The Beast'?" Martin laughed.

"Actually, no." Jeremy said turning his head "I actually slept over at the Addams's."

Martin looked at Jeremy, then started walking around him and looking him over.

"No vampire bites… No stitches… No rods… No Spiders… Huh. You sure you slept over at the Addams house?" Martin asked once he'd checked Jeremy over.

"I'm sure. Stop it. They don't go turning people into monsters. They're good people. Honestly, really good people." Jeremy said pushing Martin's hand away as he poked at his chest.

"Hm. Well, as long as you're intact, but just give me the word and I'll head over with my baseball bat." Martin said with a nod and a thumb towards his bedroom where he kept his little league bat from when they were 12.

"You should bring your football gear instead, it might protect you a bit from the man eating spider that guards the house." Jeremy said turning away with a small smile as he headed to the kitchen.

Martin stood there wide-eyed for a second "Jer- Jeremy quit playin." he said following him.

"You have breakfast yet Jeremy?" asked Ms. Jones as she plated a couple more eggs and sausage from her skillet.

"I did actually have a light one, but I can wait for Martin to eat his. I was thinking we would go bowling today before I have to drive back to Palmer to get my things." Jeremy said as he sat down at the table, followed by Martin.

"Ohh. Did you find a place here for College?" Martin's mom asked as she brought over two plates and sat them in front of either boys. Jeremy was about to interject, but she patted him on the shoulder and shushed him.

"I- Yeah. I got someone to rent me out a room for pretty decent over here. Once I start my part timer at the market, it'll be easy to keep a hold on."

"Well, that's good. I'm glad you found a place, such a shame though that Union ran out of rooms. You and Martin could've been great roommates. That's one of the great college experiences you never want to miss out on" Ms. Jones said reflecting on her college days. "I'm still best friends with some of my college roommates." she added.

"Ma, we are already best friends." Martin said as he nudged Jeremy "Besides, I think it's a little different for guys. I mean, I kinda hate my current roommate at Union." Martin said plainly.

Ms. Jones looked at her son, then back on how she remembered college guys. She quickly got back to making her plate. "Yeah, okay. Probably. College boys are pretty nasty creatures, but not you my little man." she said as she pinched Martin's cheek sitting down beside him.

"Ma!" Martin groaned as Jeremy snickered taking a bite from his sausage and egg.

"Oh I'm just teasin' you." Ms. Jones said as she swatted Martin's shoulder "You're worse. You have full access to a shower here and ya never do unless I tell you." She added.

Jeremy almost choked from laughing on his breakfast and Martin looked at him.

"Man, that isn't true." he defended himself "she just come home after I get done with my workout."

"What do you bench press? Your laundry basket, which has been filled the past 2 weeks?" She asked him. Jeremy loved how Ms. Jones can one minute be the sweetest motherly figure, then roast you and your mom the next. She'd just fried some eggs, and now was barbequing her own son.

Jeremy followed Martin's directions to the Garwood Lanes bowling alley, only getting lost once while driving. Once there, he bought them two games, a pitcher of coke, and BBQ wings.

They blew through almost 3 hours between 2 games, the food, and talked about what was coming this semester at college, what they would do in what free time they had between class and when work started, and of course… girls.

"One. How have you only dated ONE." Martin asked.

"One's not bad." Jeremy said

"No, it's not. But it's not normal in your kind of predicament." Martin said. "I mean, no homo bro, but you're not a bad lookin' dude, and this girl wasn't even a serious thing. If it were one of those budding highschool sweetheart stories, then yeah, one girl throughout highschool would make sense. But, no. You went to homecoming with her in 10th grade, and dated for like 2 months before you guys broke it off."

"And? It was a good 2 months, we just didn't really connect after that." Jeremy said sipping on his coke.

"My point is, you've been all about your studies. Like I've known girls that said they liked you but you didn't seem approachable in that way."

Jeremy looked into his drink and mulled it over. 'Yeah… maybe he's right. I don't want to be single through college, but it just doesn't cross my mind to go out of my way to look into a relationship. What do I expect, someone to fall into my arms?' he thought to himself.

Jeremy looked up and around, hoping he wasn't actually going to catch someone falling over into his arms. Sometimes he let his mind wander a bit far. He wasn't going to beat himself up about it. It passed, so it passed. He's in a better headspace now than he was in highschool where his anxiety ruled over his life it seemed.

Not that it was crippling, but it made it hard for him to take risks and push forward with maybe the 2 other girls that caught his interest ever in school.

Martin finished off his wing and wiped his hands on a napkin, before getting up to knock down his last frame of pins. First shot, gave him a 7-10 split to knock out.

"C'mon. You can do it." Jeremy called out as he finished the last of the wings.

Martin breathed out and launched the ball toward the pins, only managing to knock out the 10 pin.

"Damn. I swear that is an impossible shot." he said before coming back to their table.

Jeremy shrugged "Anything's possible. You gotta put your mind to it, but you'd know all about that Mr. 'I'm gonna be able to date, work on my studies, my job, and my football all at once'"

Martin gave him a look and then shook his head smiling.

"You lucky you're my best friend." Martin said as he began taking off the bowling shoes and swapping them for his own. Jeremy following after.

"I think you mean, you're lucky, that I'm your best friend." Jeremy said.

They gathered their things, dropped off the shoes and the dishes at the counters before heading out.

"Would you mind helping me get my things from home to bring to the Addams's?" Jeremy asked as they buckled into The Beast.

Martin was checking over his phone messages and shrugged. "Yeah, we can do that. I don't got nothing else to do today." he replied.

"Great." Jeremy said shifting the car into reverse "Then you won't mind helping me bringing it up to my room at the Addams house." Jeremy said with a mischievous smile.

"Yeah, sure." Martin said before stopping his scrolling on his phone "-wait, What?!"


End file.
